Social Media: The Illusive “Evidence” that we are “fine”
It has been forever since I posted on any of my social media accounts … haha not that anyone cares, haha; and neither does it matter; but I am still very alive and kicking. It’s just weird, but also very weirdly normal, that for our generation, it just feels like something is missing, or like a part of our lives isn’t complete or being lived out; if part of your life is not posted on social media.
Literally a friend recently texted me when they saw my status on WhatsApp. “Hey Risper, are you fine. You have been quiet for so long. Should I/we be concerned. It is very unlike you to be this quiet.”
Well, haha, friend, lets call her Cook… Cook, my dear, I am very fine thank you. I have been quiet yes, but only quiet on my social media, not in my life.
Okay, a bit of background on Cook, she is a proper Gen Z, so for her social media presence mostly means everything. If you are not on social media, then may be they should be concerned about you because, “Are you fine?”
So, back to talking to my well meaning lovely friend and once upon a time mentee Cook; I am truly well. I won’t lie to you it has been kind of hard for me to not be on social media. I totally do understand your concern, that me staying off social media for too long could be an indicator that I am not okay. I mean, how else ought we to know someone is till alive if they are not on social media right? haha, babes, you know I do not mean the latter sarcastically; it is actually very possible for absence on social media to indicate mental unwellness. By this I mean that for people who often post a lot on social media, sudden absence without warning, and them not being in contact with the people they used to talk to can be indicative of trouble. So reach out.
I will not go to the merits and the healing power of absence from social media as that is not the point of this love letter cum article; but Cook my love, sometimes someone being absent from social media is not always a cause for concern. What I really appreciate about you Cook, is that you observed that I did habitually post on all my social media accounts, thus a very long break with barely a peep from me was potentially a cause for concern.
With everything said though, I would be unfairly dismissive of your concern Cook, if I did not acknowledge that yes, it is unusual of me to not post very often on my socials. You had clearly been paying attention, because prior to my abrupt absence from social media I had been posting almost daily, especially on my Instagram.
In truth love;
One; being a person quite in tune with my inner voice of grace and instinct, this voice had already told me to be off social media for a while, but I didn’t take the suggested break.
Two; by bad lack, the devil haha, or just the universe ensuring I took the said break, my phone, my beloved phone 😫 was stolen, and stolen in church nonetheless! I was so disappointed. I mean everyone can relate to the pain of losing a phone, especially a phone you have invested in for quite a while so it is like an extension of you, it knows your habits, schedules, has all your school notes, sometimes even arranges things in folders for you just so it can make your life easier …. etc … so losing my phone, my dearest friend Cook, did quite a number on me, and I went dark on my socials both by fire by force, and a bit of it by choice. If I just may insist on this phone loss and my pain 😂 …. I had literally just upgraded my phone, replaced the screen protector, the phone cover and updated the software,😆 so my loss was real my dear.
And I mean, okay, of course Cook, while this message is yours and yours alone, haha, of course it is in public, so lets pose a question to the public, “Wouldn’t you be mad and quite heartbroken too if you lost your phone in any circumstance? Let alone a circumstance like mine where the phone was stolen during a week day prayer meeting in church😂😂 just days after you’d pimped out the subject phone?”
Anyways, Cook, let me finish this long explanation to you (you already know me and words)😂☺️☺️ … I celebrate your emotional awareness and sensitivity to your friends, that you would note when they are away from places or things thy did habitually. It is you, because of people like you, that the world has more love. It is people like you that are truly living out the #mentalhealth and #depressionawareness of #checkin with your friends, especially if they suddenly seem to stop doing the things they used to do, if they seem isolated or have withdrawn from social activities they used to do.
So darling Cook, thank you for checking in with me. I appreciate your concern. I feel your love. I feel loved because of you. I am encouraged to love more by checking in with the people in my life because of you.
And now unto the public,haha, that we have been pretending isn’t privy to this supposedly “private” love and thank you letter, #checkin Check in with your friends. Check in with your friends who talk a lot, check in with your friends who don’t talk a lot, check in with your acquaintances you once consistently saw somewhere and all of a sudden they are no longer there, check in with your parents/guardians…. Check in check in check in. Check in, like Cook did, with your friends who were very active on social media and suddenly seem to have fallen off the face of the earth…. check in with your friends who are always on social media!
There are people out here suffering loudly.
Yes, check in with that your friend who is so active on social media. I know it personally so I can speak to it : there are people staying active on social media just to seem fine but otherwise they are struggling. There are people out here struggling so much, they hate themselves, and are convinced they deserve hate, both to hate themselves and be hated by others, so they subconsciously check out social media, and intentionally keep checking posts from people who appear “successful”, just to further punish themselves, to use the “successful” “people” they see to internally show themselves just how behind they are and how they will never catch up …. the latter is sadly but true part of how many young people have ended up committing suicide; their beloved social media driving them to extreme levels of hopelessness that they feel taking their lives is the only way to find peace.
Check in check in check in, that is the message here. If you truly love, as we claim to love, and carelessly throw around that word love in this 21st century, then check in with your friends, family and random people too if you have the grace to do that.
Anyways, in truth, I have dedicated this letter/ article to my friend Mitch, who did actually text me with the words quoted above as said by “Cook”. Haha, I have been battling with it but for the most part I am literally incapable of writing without making a reference to something, and in this case my reference to calling my friend Mitch “Cook” is the attached image.
Xo,
Risper Wanja Njagi
Last Last P.S This was a Facebook post dedicated to my friend but I figured I can actually publish it as an article so here we are:) Do not mind the emojis and laughter etc … haha, if you are not new to this blog then you know I love you:) and that my writing is conversational, very conversational because I do want you to feel like that, and know that I am your friend even if we do not know each other. The human experience is universal so I do not necessarily need to personally know you to possibly be able to understand you, feel you, feel what you may be feeling, go through or experience what you may be experiencing.
And finally, btw, if you would like me to write about something around mental wellness, feel free to reach out to me on email at brendanjagirw@gmail.com I am not an expert but my passion in matters mental health runs deep, I shall research even a new concept just for you:)
