“Just Keep Trying” & Other Cliches … Might not be so wrong

I hate cliches. Cliches like, “Don’t worry, everything will be okay”… Cliches like, “Just try, it will make a difference”… Cliches like “Just keep going, sometimes God does smile on us”… I hate these kind of clichés, or should I say I have hated them, but lately, I find that it is possible for there to be “Light at the end of the tunnel”.

Or perhaps what I should be admitting is that I have been afraid… Afraid that I will never change. Afraid that I had been doomed to the same life sucking cycle of life, and I have been afraid of hoping for change… because what if I do hope, and then I am disappointed?

Look, call me pessimist or whatever, but at my age, 27, given that these are all the years I have lived, I would say that I have found disappointed longing or hope as the worst tragedy in life. It’s not that I do not like hoping, but rather, for a couple of years, I have found myself in what’s felt like a constant disappointment of hope. I’m only human, and after a while, it can feel as if a once promising-to-be-vibrant-life is only dull, and promises never to change color ever again… and we start hating hope because it’s probably more painful than unrequited love.

Haha, I could only use “probably” in the latter because I do not know much about love… But if unrequited love is anything like that feeling of spiritual brokenness that takes place in our souls whenever something we longed for fails, then I am a lover. Always have been a lover. A deep deep lover of life, but without enough courage to pursue the life in my head… Not that I do not want it. No. Rather, I have wanted it so badly, that the fear of not having it actually became my prison. Sad how this last statement is true for so many people …

This is why I am talking about cliches.

Cliches like “Just take one step at a time”… the whole picture can be otherwise overwhelming. “Just take one step” towards getting back on the horse if you fell off. “Just take one step forward”, sometimes you may land on opportunities that will transform your whole life. “Just take one step ahead”, it starts giving you a feel of control and achievement, which are all valid psychological needs for any human being.

Like “old adages”, I am starting to think that perhaps cliches aren’t so bad. Perhaps they carry more truth than we like to dismiss them.

The biggest “cliche” I wish to advocate for today is one: Even when it looks as if no change is taking place, “keep trusting the process”, you will look back one day and see that something good came out of your imperfect efforts.

My greatest desire for a long time was to feel that I made something of myself, but I also felt stuck, as if I’ll never be able to evolve… As if I might repeat old patterns in new seasons, as if I’ll never be able to change. It doesn’t help that I have heard it said so many times that “people don’t change”. When you feel like you have failed many times, some such statements can become terrifying.

But it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to change. That’s the point. We shouldn’t stop trying… Those subtle changes you make, those imperfect efforts where you win some and lose some … all those efforts can sometimes add up to changes you could never have imagined …

And As I reflect on my year… The wins and losses… I am more convinced than ever that we should never give up on trying.

I tried something new this year, that I have never done successfully before, primarily due to fear, and it has paid off.

I heard that “If it’s hard to change from your current environment, moving to a completely new environment can help. Remove all traces of familiarity, and try again. Even if you fear you will repeat the past, acknowledge that fea as valid, but counteract it by preparing this time differently from how you did before.” Acknowledge what’s different now, then you will start to see that all factors aren’t the same. Acknowledge that things are a bit different now, and see that as suggesting that even the end result will be different. Choose that it can be different. And even when if feels like the fight you had has left… just keep trying, and keep going forward…

Keep trying is the point.

This year, with so many odds(mostly me) being not in my favor, I tried something new- and the future is starting to look different, for once, in a very long time.

I won’t share all the details yet, but I have won a significant Masters Scholarship that will take me to a completely different environment for quite some years… and I am very happy, and grateful.

By the grace of God, I get to go to a completely new region, culture, language and routine. I have always sought adventure, but for some years it felt like a part of me had died… and it frustrated me to feel as if I was dying and fading away as I watched, but I am grateful for the new graces available each day to embolden us to try again.

I am not afraid to admit it, but for what feels like eternity, I had felt stuck and condemned to a onenote boring life, with no adventure or joy. And that was more scary than anything I could imagine, because what are we if we’re not evolving?

I am so glad I tried this year. I am so glad God’s helped me try this year. I tried to Course Correct this year. It’s probably the first year where in a long long time I have been able to fight a bit harder than previous years… And I am so glad it has paid off in a manner I am proud of. I am encouraged to keep trying. I am encouraged to keep trying even if old things threaten to hold me back. I am encouraged that some point, little efforts will compound into something wholesome and helpful, that will just not leave us the same way again. Forget being perfect, just try.

Try. Try even when you feel you have no fight left in you. Try. Try even when you live under the fear that things might never be different for you. It’s only in trying that we start exposing ourselves to new possibilities.

So try.

XO, Risper.