Good Things, Exhausting Things
Fatigue: Real or a marketing tactic by “wellness” industrialists?
Hey there! It has been a minute since I last wrote. Namely, the last published article from this blog was on Valentine’s day. I hope you have been well?
Now, on to today’s discussion:
Have you ever experienced fatigue? You know, that ‘just exhausted’ feeling in your body, that simple tasks become almost impossible to perform?
Well, fatigue is precisely why I had to take a break from writing. Short story is that I found myself experiencing symptoms such as nausea, yet I wasn’t sick; waking up feeling exhausted; experiencing long headaches, and yet I wasn’t dehydrated; dozing off in the office- which rarely happens for me; experiencing general body tiredness and so much more…
Oh, one more peculiar symptom was this mental slowdown- such that I’d find myself taking about three hours for tasks that usually take me, say, thirty minutes!
Now, this isn’t supposed to be a blog about my near pass out experience. However, I do tend to get inspired by my daily experiences, and this brush with actual fatigue definitely stands out.
I never thought I’d experience fatigue while doing good things!
Yep. This experience was not my first with burnout. However, I think I’d assumed that since all I have been doing is intentional course correction, writing- which I love, journaling, getting most pf my work right, engaging my creativity in other areas; and more “nice things’, “good things”; then I shouldn’t have been tired. I had thought to myself that my body should have been even more energized by my recent ‘achievements”.
Well, dear Course Correctors, our bodies are respecters of no man or achievement streaks.
I learnt the hard way that our minds and bodies can give out, even when we’ve been “upto good things”. Your sleep is as important as your prayers. An engagement of your senses — in nature or whatever supplies your dopamine- is as important as that journaling session. Your experience of some form of leisure or pleasure- just for the sake of it- is as important as volunteering/serving in your local community.
This was my lesson from this experience. I ended up taking a day of from work, and just slept. Shamelessly. Guilt free. I woke up on a work day, showered, had some food and just got back into bed. All day.
I got to get out of here, because as it is, it is almost past my bedtime as I write- and we don’t want another fatigue experience, do we?
So, how to conclude my dearest friends? (I literally feel so close to the community here- perhaps because here I get to express all my heart, soul, knowledge and lessons?)
Well, it would be so unlike me to leave you with a, “Oh how perfect and fixed I am by my one-day-off of work”. I would be lying to you, and worse still, may be even cause someone to start living upto an unrealistic ideal that fatigue can be fixed by a one-day sleep-in exercise.
This is Course Correction. That means that it is a journey. It means that half the time you and I won’t even know what to do with ourselves, or how to react, even to good things, because all this is new to us. Momentum- that experience of building upon your previous achievements- is going to be new for many of us [it is to me at least]. Choosing different- possibly better- but unfamiliar things is going to be strange to us.
Our minds, as well as our bodies will need to adjust to this different way of being. It is going to be even strange to tell yourself that it is okay to be tired over consistently making the right choices, as ironic as that sounds. If you are like me, and perhaps you have struggled with perfectionism or hyper-achievement, you may find yourself pushing the same traits in your pursuit of better choices- and push yourself too much.
All I am saying is: I cannot say I know all the ways how we can be kind to ourselves, but I do know, and propose, that you and I speak to our souls and ask them to bear with us as we learn this new life. This is what realistic course correction must look like- kindness and patience with ourselves first, before extending it anywhere else.
Anyway, now I am really gone (haha, not really, but almost)…
One of my favorite series ever is “Emily in Paris”. Funny as funny can be, fashion-centric and like a Paris get away vicariously … but my best scene would be where this funny guy, Luc, bursts the lead character’s expectations of a “perfect ending” in everything. To paraphrase Luc, he tells the lead, “Emily, why are Americans so obsessed with happy endings in movies? Welcome to a ‘French ending’. It is a tragic ending, just like life.” I’ll not go so much into my obsession with Luc, and neither am I French nor have I been to France, yet, so as to tell of French endings and whatnots.
However, I will say that my one-day rest-up had a “French ending”, but a welcome one, because I realized that it was not just rest that I was missing. I realized that what my body and soul were craving more was comfort. I used to binge-watch series and get high for pleasure and escapism, but decided that those activities cannot serve me in my new journey.
After my one-day rest up, it dawned on me that in my ‘good’ pursuits, I did not design alternative sources of pleasure, especially activities that can give as much ‘pleasure’ as the dopamine supply from a few puffs of weed.
Thus, a girl is asking for help here… what do you guys do for fun that you feel give you a good supply of dopamine? I am open to borrowing …
That marks the end of today’s blog entry. I hope there was somethings for you. May you find the courage to stay on in this Course Correction Journey!
Next up, a few articles around cognitive distortions.
Adios! See you in the next article.
Best, Risper.
