Confounding Love — A Poetic Musing
Your Love Confounds Me…
Your love is Confounding … Confusing even
I have never been much of a lover
May be I was deprived of love
Or perhaps I’m just human enough that my heart is more desperately wicked like Jeremiah said that it is tuned to love
Yet you love me
How many times have I sinned in the exact ways
And yet you've kept forgiving me
I often judged the Israelites
How could they keep repeating the same mistakes
The same sins
Forgetting who they were and who was with them ....
I judged them a lot
Perhaps that's why pride does
That we see the sin of others
And miss the loads of it within our own hearts
Yet you don't give up
You didn't give up on them
You haven't given up on me
Sometimes I even wonder
What kind of patience is this you have
How could you still have time for me after all the many messes I have made
Do you never learn , Father?
How could you not give up on me?
I would give up on me
I have given up on me
Countless times
Only your grace brought me back
Only your grace had brought me back
Only your love sustains me
It's your love that had kept me standing
Kept me hopeful
May be you really do see something in me that I may not be privy to yet
Because otherwise I can't find any reasonable explanation for why you still love me so
Still love me so fiercely
So protectively
So forgivingly
Your love
It is Confounding
It is so high above what I could ever think or imagine
Indeed you are God
Your thoughts above mine
Your ways above mine
How Lucky I am
To be a girl so loved even when I have struggled to love myself
How Lucky I am
To be so loved.
Thank you for always
Loving me
